The information in this article is intended as entertainment. It is not medical advice. In troubling times, humor helps. Even my dad, who is vulnerable to the virus wanted me to write this. “With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die,” said Abraham Lincoln. The links in the article are affiliate links, which means I make a small percentage of a commission from any sales to help offset the sinking economy. Capitalism is weird, y’all.

Plague Mask

You’ll be pandemic chic at the renaissance festival with this face mask. I’ve seen them around pre-coronavirus, but I expect now they are going to be the must have accessory. Doctors of the renaissance would stuff the beaks full of aromatic herbs. You could do the same to mask the stench of the elephants, llamas, or just somebody smothered in patchouli.

Black Balaclava

Conceal your muggle identity and avoid touching your face at the same time with a black balaclava. You can wear the face mask over it to enhance the creep factor.

Hooded Robe

What to wear with your black plague mask? Pair it with this long hooded robe. Better yet, you might scare the peasants while looking like the coming of death. These doctors back in the day really should have worked on their bedside manner.

Women’s Cloak

Don’t worry ladies, even though you wouldn’t have been allowed to be a doctor during the black plague, you can be an adorable plague doctor now at the renaissance with this hooded cape. Pair with black leggings and high boots, and you’ll look so tough coronavirus will cower before you. For Halloween, you could pair it with a miniskit and be a sexy plague doctor, if that’s your jam.

Black Gloves

Since we’re supposed to be avoiding touching people and things, put the final touch on your outfit with these black gloves. It will protect you from the peasants singing, “Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty. Thrill me chill me fulfill me. Creature of the night.”

Potion Bottle

Why use a regular flask when you can use a potion bottle? Alcohol kills germs, right? As if rennies needed an extra excuse to drink. Sláinte!

Men’s Boots

Combating pandemics needs badass foodwear to trudge around the renaissance festival. Your feet will look fearsome in these buckled boots. Just because everybody is coming undone with fear doesn’t mean your boots will.

Women’s Boots

These flat soled boots will keep your toes happy while you enjoy what could be your last days of good health. Life’s too short for sore feet.

“Let us eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.”